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- Economic dependence: Who will support me and the
children?
- Parenting: Wanting a second parent for the
children
- Religious Belief: pressure to keep the family
together
- Extended Family pressure to keep the family
together
- Fear of being alone and on one's own: fear that I
can't cope with home and children by myself
- Loyalty: If partner had cancer, I'd stick with
him/her
- Pity: Partner is really so much worse off than I
am. I feel sorry for him/her
- Rescue Complex: If I stay, I can "save"
him/her, help him/her get better
- Fear of his/her suicide: Partner says he/she will
kill him/herself if I leave
- Denial: It is really not so bad
- Love: I love him/her, and he/she is often quite
loving and lovable when he/she is not being
abusive
- Duty: I said I would stay married to him/her
"till death do us part"
- Guilt: I feel and partner claims that the marital
problems are my fault; I caused his/her
difficulties and his/her problems
- Responsibility: It is up to me to work things out
and save the marriage
- Shame, embarrassment, humiliation: I don't want
anyone to know
- Security: Belief in the American dream of growing
up and living happily ever after
- Identity; Many people feel that they need a
partner in order to be complete
- Optimism: Things will get better
- Low self-esteem: It must be my fault, I must
deserve it, I'll never find anyone better. A
little love is better than no love at all
- Sex role conditioning: this is just the way men/women
are
- Survival: Fear about my own physical safety if I
leave because he/she has threatened to find me,
and to kill me, the kids, and/or my family
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   805-964-5245
24
hr client advocates
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Working to end the
intergenerational cycle of domestic violence....
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