Barriers to Leaving an Abusive Relationship
- Economic dependence
- Who will support me and the children?
- Parenting
- Wanting a second parent for the children.
- Religious belief
- Pressure to keep the family together.
- Extended family
- Pressure to keep the family together.
- Fear of being alone and on one's own
- Fear that I can't cope with home and
children by myself.
- Loyalty
- If partner had cancer, I'd stick with him/her.
- Pity
- Partner is really so much worse off than I am. I feel sorry for him/her.
- Rescue complex
- If I stay, I can "save" him/her, help him/her get
better.
- Fear of his/her suicide
- Partner says he/she will kill him/herself if I leave.
- Denial
- It is really not so bad.
- Love
- I love him/her, and he/she is often quite loving and lovable when he/she
is not being abusive.
- Duty
- I said I would stay married to him/her "till death do us part".
- Guilt
- I feel and partner claims that the marital problems are my fault;
I caused his/her difficulties and his/her problems.
- Responsibility
- It is up to me to work things out and save the marriage.
- Shame, Embarrassment, Humiliation
- I don't want anyone to know.
- Security
- Belief in the American dream of growing up and living happily ever
after.
- Identity
- Many people feel that they need a partner in order to be complete.
- Optimism
- Things will get better.
- Low self-esteem
- It must be my fault, I must deserve it, I'll never find
anyone better. A little love is better than no love at all.
- Sex role conditioning
- This is just the way men/women are.
- Survival
- Fear about my own physical safety if I leave because he/she has
threatened to find me, and to kill me, the kids, and/or my family.
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