What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is not just physical violence. It is a pattern of abusive behavior that one partner uses against the other. For example:

Physical Abuse: Hitting, grabbing, pushing, kicking
Emotional Abuse: Blaming, lying, name-calling, threats
Sexual Abuse: Harassing, forcing sex, cheating

Domestic violence is always about power and control. It can occur in any relationship, no matter what the race, religion, socio-economic status, culture, or creed of the partners.

Taking a Stand Against Domestic Violence

Sometimes the only messages that boys and men get are the wrong ones.

Messages like, "women ask for it," and that being a real man means having power and control over others — through violence, if necessary.

"Every nine seconds a woman is abused."

Men Against Domestic Violence — MADV

working to change the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors that create a culture of male violence

Men Against Domestic Violence is a group working to free our community from domestic violence. We believe equality and mutual respect are the basis of healthy relationships. We are committed to educating and inspiring all men to personally and publicly take a stand for equality in their relationships.

We do this by creating awareness of the issues, challenging stereotypes of manhood, and showing positive examples of what it means to be a man. Our focus is on preventing intimate partner violence — for the benefit of men, women, and the children who love them.

As part of MADV you can help others to:

Recognize the signs, symptoms and seriousness of abusive relationships
Understand the difference between healthy and abusive relationships
Develop the skills to maintain healthy relationships
Change the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors that contribute to social acceptance of men's violence.

Violence is Learned Behavior

Men are trained as young boys to accept violence as part of manhood. This pressure prevails into adulthood, but real men see through this conditioning and are aware enough to tell other men that bullying is a sign of weakness, that abuse is a sign of a dysfunctional relationship, and that physical violence is a crime, not to mention a tragedy. It takes a real man to do this…but that's what MADV is all about ... real men.

We identify alternatives to help survivors and abusers stop the cycle of violence by referring them to people and places that can help. A good starting point is the Domestic Violence Solutions hotline, which offers resources for men and women.

In Santa Barbara: (805) 964-5245
In Lompoc: (805) 736-0965
In Santa Maria: (805) 925-2160
In Santa Ynez Valley (805) 686-4390

What Can Men Do to Help Stop Domestic Violence?

(Suggestions from the Family Violence Prevention Fund)

Be a role model to other men. Men are more likely to listen to other men when it comes to the perpetration of violence. Let a violent young man know, "You need help, and I want to help you.Your behavior is not acceptable."
Take a vocal stand against violence toward women when you see or hear it depicted in video games, popular music, or in others' behavior.
Reach out to a family suffering from domestic violence. Chip away at the walls that isolate families living with abuse.
Be a role model to a child who lacks a positive male figure in his life.
Speak out against domestic violence in civic organizations, churches, neighborhood associations, sports teams.
Make a donation to Domestic Violence Solutions.
Join Men Against Domestic Violence! Call 963-4458 x11.

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